those things you think you know but can't really place, and when you find out what you thought you were trying to think of, it's completely different. then all of a sudden you're desparately trying to rationalize what you were thinking - utilizing all symbolisms possible and 20 year old references and the like - while making a silly person out of yourself without even realizing it.
isn't it such a crazy world we live in? i in particular am struck by the oddity of the word rationalize - to take an irrational situation and attempt to plaster it up in explanations and "well perhaps this" phrases in order to make it appear rational - even though we know full well that it's not. a minor form of self-delusion, if you will. isn't that the start of so much evil? to dupe yourself into thinking something is something else? that's like willful stupidity. a good teacher of mine (past teacher, but i suspect i will come back to him for help with college maths) phrased it as "willfully ignorant" with a 'whisper to the whole class behind your hand' comment of "stupidity".
anyways. back to the point at hand...i hope that i do not become one of those people who lie to everyone they hold dear, including themselves, and more to the issue at hand because they are lying to themselves. i mean, seriously...does anyone actually think they'll be able to fully convince themselves that they don't know something they know they know? they're so aware of the fact that they know whatever it is they know that they're even trying to disguise that fact to themselves! it's crazy!
people do alot of crazy things when they're able to convince themselves of things that aren't very rational. imagine having a desire for something irrational that's so strong, you actually bring yourself to act as though you believe differently than you do.


sometimes people just whig me out. that's right. whig. no tories here.
i bid you all a very pleasant night, or, if you happen to be reading this earlier or later in the day, a marvelous morning or splendid afternoon.